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 The Racism
Store
By Brian Frisk
Gary was proud to be a racist. He hated the Jews, the Blacks and the Mexicans. He hated the Irish, the French and all Asians. He even took geography classes at night to learn about new races he could hate. He was also taking business classes, so he could turn his love of hatred into a career, and open up the very first Racism store at his local mall.
The mall approved the application for Gary's store which he planned to call, "The Race Store", because they thought he would be selling te...more...
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A Pink Tie
Affair
By Brian Frisk
My friend Josh and I were at a Goodwill store in Los Angeles looking for two pink ties. Why pink ties? Obviously we were both going to dress up like James Bond. Duh. Well, specifically we were looking for outfits to match a specific scene in "Diamonds Are Forever". In the scene, the usually dapper Sean Connery looks more like a Van Nuys carpet salesman than a secret agent in khaki pants, an oversized white shirt and an awful pink tie which ends at about his belly button. We were on our way to a ...more...
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What Brown
Doesn't Do
By Brian Frisk
Why doesn't UPS bother to paint the tops of their trucks? They're corner cutting crusade to save on brown paint seem to deny that there is a 3rd dimension to reality. They certainly know there's a fourth, or it wouldn't take so long to get the useless crap I bought from Ebay while drunk. (I don't know why I thought a $3 Dukes of Hazard watch would actually work. Especially when he agreed to throw in a couple extra ones for free "just in case")
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How Much Would
a Blowhard
Blow?
By Brian Frisk
Everyone likes Ice Cream Cones. They're salty-sweet, they dribble down your chin and make a great afternoon treat. I guess everyone likes blowjobs for the same reasons.
That's all I'm going to say about BJ's, but I would like to share with you a moment of post-coital cuddle-time. The girl asked me to rate her oral performance. Sexual communication is of course a good thing (I'm told), but she wanted a detailed, honest evaluation of her skills. I said it was good. She asked how good. Pre...more...
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Anonymous:
My own personal hell would be to be tied up and beaten with a lead pipe by McAllister Stonehenge and the SF Hack Invaders from Pluto.
fatzilla
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Anonymous:
Ass Kisser of the Month's Answer:
Living without the Frown!
Sincerely,
AKM
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Anonymous:
1000 years of nothing but some old lady telling you why your in hell to begin with. I got it I was bad know get off my cass.
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One man,
clapping slowly
Flavored Vodka
The Color
Orange
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What is your
personal Hell?
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